6:31AM - Baby alarm... ugh, I'm up.

6:35AM - Oh good, it's *only* 80.3F outside right now. That means it'll only be like 115F in the garage/driveway this afternoon.
(NOTE: actual forecast high is 101F)

6:42AM - What is it about Cheerios that babies find so delicious? I wish I loved Cheerios like babies do.

7:23AM - After fighting with the stir bar and my stir plate for an entire day, it decides to start cooperating this morning. Maybe this is a sign of a good day. Anyway, the yeast should be in a happy place by this evening's pitching.

8:32AM - Still pulling out equipment and supplies... *fingers crossed* that I did a decent job of cleaning before putting the brew stand up last time.........

9:19AM - Cleaning situation wasn't bad... just going to need to rinse and run hot water through everything to be safe. I've got the B3 1550 out and ready to get things going. Temperature update: Garage = 99F, official OAT (from nearby elementary weather station) = 83F.


9:56AM - Found a problem with the pump during cleaning/testing of the brewstand... if there wasn't an "oh bleep" moment during brew day, then it wouldn't be a real brew day.

9:58AM - Halloweenhead by Ryan Adams... jam.

10:20AM - ...but Int'l Players Anthem by UGK... infinitely more jammerific.

10:33AM - I just killed a 2+ inch roach in the garage with Raid. I hate those things, but when they get sprayed, it is kinda sad. They slow down and start twitching. I don't think I could ever be a game hunter... or a gangbanger.

11:04AM - Got everything hooked up and ready to go. Heating the Hot Liquor Tank (HLT) water. 12+ gallons from ~80F to 165F is going to take a while. I think I've lost several gallons of water through the sweat pores already.


11:15AM - Adjusted water chemistry to the recommended 5.2pH using 5.2pH Stabilizer. It's a powder you just dump in the water, and pow! 5.2pH. Scary.

11:18AM - And there I was... typing about pH and jamming to Timberlake when it occurred to me: It's kinda quiet. The burners had turned off... gas ran out. Backup propane is now on duty.

11:58AM - Mashed in 29lbs of delicious malts. I bet you are wishing you had smell-o-net right now. Aroma is heavenly. Timer is set. Mash time is 1 hour.

Grain bill:
26 lbs 2-Row Brewers Malt (1.036)
1 lb Cara-Pils Malt (1.035)
1 lb White Wheat (1.040)
1 lb Crystal 40L (1.034)


12:18PM - Meanwhile, inside the house, apparently my baby girl found some super glue and got it all over her hands and feet. Sweet.

12:22PM - All of baby girl's appendages and digits are unstuck from themselves. Odds are pretty good that won't be the first time she glues herself together with super glue. Mash nearly half done.

12:33PM - Getting a late start with the drinking. Starting with an Abita Harvest Wit. It is a middle of the road Wit, but tasty and accessible enough to hit the proverbial spot in this 94F (100F heat index) weather.

1:01PM - Mash done. Raising the mash temperature to 168F before sparging (helps with efficiency). Once there, I'll start the slow rinsing of the sweet wort from the grain and collect it in the brew kettle.

1:08PM - Beer #2: Harpoon UFO.

1:34PM - Arg! Broke a rubber o-ring on mash tun valve. Sweet wort leaking on the ground! After a mad scramble around the garage, I found some replacements I had the foresight to purchase in advance (well, to be honest, I had an o-ring problem during a previous brew session with no backups... but after that I was smart enough to keep backups in the brew supply box).

1:49PM - Here is the scoop on the sparging: This is an 11 gallon batch (split into 2 5.5gal batches). Boiling and equipment losses should a little over 2 gallons. My plan is to collect just over 13 gallons in the kettle before starting the boil. This should take another 45 minutes.

Here is the scoop on the temperature: OAT = 97F, Heat index = 101F, Garage Temperature = Nearly boiling.

Cold War Kids - Hang Me Out to Dry... just reading the words "cold" and "dry" off the iPod makes me happy.

1:59PM - Beer #3: Victory Prima Pils. If you don't know, you better axe somebody.

3:04PM - Took a specific gravity reading with my refractometer "toy." I missed my targets a bit (73% efficiency vs the target 75% efficiency, not bad!). No worries. Dumped 4.5 oz of some light dried malt a bought for just such an occasion.

Chances of boil over: Is there something more than 100%?

3:23PM - Boil started... 60 minutes on the clock. 6 oz of Galena hops added to wort.

3:25PM - Smart money was on the boil over.


3:49PM - Beer #4: Victory Prima Pils again. Don't question me.

3:52PM - 2oz Cascade hops added. Wort revolts and threatens boil over. I threaten to turn off the heat and we agree to continue.

4:04PM - I just had a mini Butterfinger from one of the kids' Lunchables. It may have been more than a decade since I've had a Butterfinger. I forgot how much they stick to your teeth! I have what feels like a mouthgaurd of peanut butter flavored sugar on the tops of all my teeth now.

4:09PM - 2oz Liberty hops added. This time, my disapproving stare keeps the wort and it's boil overs in check.

4:17PM - Tossed a Whirlfloc tablet in there. It is supposed to clear the wort (coagulates wort proteins). Boil almost over.

4:20PM - OPP. I was very pop culture "aware" in the early 90s. I was in high school in the early 90s. I'm pretty sure that before that time, during, and since that time there is pretty much only 1 other meaning, other than the literal meaning for Treach's ad lib opening to the song. No, not the command to "harm me with harmony" (whatever that means). It's what he asks his homie to do to us listeners. "Dave drop a load on 'em."

Now *what* now!?

4:46PM - Pumping the wort into 2 carboys for primary fermentation.

5:10PM - Time for some cleanup outside... ugh.

7:08PM - 2 hrs later... everything is clean. My temperature controller for my my custom built fermentation box broke, leaving me with 2 non-functioning controllers. How-evah, I broke both of them apart and mix and matched parts until I got 1 to work. *whew*

The carboys have been put away in the fermentation box... located in what used to be my office, but is now the kids' playroom. I figured I could give up my office if they could deal with me having a 4'x4' corner for my brewing supplies.

The temperature is still too hot for me to pitch the yeast. Post boil cooling is a problem I really need to solve.

Update (the next day) - I wanted to pitch the yeast with the beer in the mid 60's... at 2:30AM, I convinced myself that 72F was just fine. 1500mL of a 1.040 strength yeast starter (prepared Thursday evening) went into each carboy.

Original gravity target: 1.071
Actual gravity reading: 1.072 (not bad!)

This beer should be about 8% ABV.

The two guys are being stored at 68F where I'll let the yeast do their work for about 10-14 days. Once fermentation has nearly finished, I'll transfer them on top of some additional hops and some American oak cubes (simulating "barrel aging"). One 5 gallon batch will get wine soaked oak chips and the other will get whiskey soaked oak chips.

I'll update this post again if anything exciting happens.

When 1560 The Game (KGOW, 1560 AM) flipped on the switch in 2007, they began with the mission of being a unique, locally-owned and managed sports and entertainment radio station. The station focuses efforts on being user friendly, accessible, and just plain fun. Much like the Saint Arnold Army, 1560 (by way of John and Lance) have somewhat of a cult following (stream them online here).

Unsanctioned bar golf tournament? Check. Unannounced middle-of-the-night shows? Obviously. Slapfest? Yep. 1560 shirts at Academy Sports and Outdoors sold at cost? Outstanding idea.

By their first year, folks were on board… big time.

In what is a story for another blog post, several months ago I spoke with the program director for 1560 about another out-of-the-box idea: 1560 The Beer.

Genius.

Like the Saint Arnold Army, 1560 has a large a dedicated group of followers too, The Secret Society. Unlike Saint Arnold, 1560 promotes a wide variety of sponsors... and many of them are food/drinking establishments (Ragin Cajun, Nick's Place, Jake's Philly Steaks, Demeris BBQ, The B.U.S.). Apparently 1560 The Game discussed the idea with two other Texas microbreweries prior to my conversation with them. Presumably because of the uncertain nature of the venture and small batches that would be required, each shied away from the idea.

Being an investor of Independence Brewing in Austin, TX, I suggested the two meet regarding the potential new partnership. Both Independence and 1560 are a good match because they both do more with less… and do it well.

I know what you are thinking. When can I expect to pick up some Independence brewed 1560 The Beer out at the Ragin Cajun? Probably the day after never.

Why? Label laws.

The Texas Alcoholic Beverage Commission (TABC) code governing private labeling is extremely restrictive and makes it difficult to impossible to produce a private label-style brand. Let's dig through the code for fun:

§45.82. Prohibited Practices.

(A) Statements on labels. Containers of malt beverages, or any labels on such containers, or any carton, case, or individual covering of such containers, used for sale at retail, or any written, printed, graphic or other matter accompanying such containers to the consumer shall not contain the following:

Alright… let's see the restrictions.

(1) any statement that is false or untrue in any particular, or that, irrespective of falsity, directly or by ambiguity, omission, or inference, or by the addition of irrelevant, scientific, or technical matter tends to create a misleading impression;

Beer isn't good for you. Got it.

(2) any statement that is disparaging of a competitor's products;

No "10 Times Better than the Pee Inbev Anheuser-Busch is Serving You" beer. Fair enough.

(3) any statement, design, device, or representation which is obscene or indecent;

"Naked Pale Boy" is out. No harm no foul.

(4) any statement, design, device, or representation of or relating to analyses, standards, or tests, irrespective of falsity, which the administrator finds to be likely to mislead the consumer;

They probably could have wrapped this into #1, but whatever.

(5) any statement, design, device or representation of or relating to any guaranty, irrespective of falsity, which the administrator finds to be likely to mislead the consumer;

Wow! This is getting *really* repetitive, but it's pretty straightforward. Maybe the TABC isn't as evil and destructive as I thought they were.

(6) a trade name or brand name that is the name of any living individual of public prominence, or existing private or public organization, or is a name that is in simulation or is an abbreviation thereof, or any graphic, pictorial, or emblematic representation of any such individual or organization, if the use of such name or representation is likely to falsely lead the consumer to believe that the product has been endorsed, made, or used by, or produced for, or under the supervision of, or in accordance with the specifications of, such individual or organization; provided, that this subsection shall not apply to the use of the name of any person engaged in business as a producer, importer, bottler, wholesaler, distributor, retailer, or warehouseman, of malt beverages, nor to the use by any person of a trade or brand name that is the name of any living individual of public prominence, or existing private or public organization, provided such trade or brand name was used by him or his predecessors in interest prior to August 29, 1935;

Now what now?! Look at the size of #6 compared to the other restrictions! This doesn't look so good for 1560 The Beer. Are we done yet?

(7) any statement, design, device, or representation that the malt beverage is a special or private brand brewed or bottled for, or that includes the name, tradename or trademark of any retail licensee or permittee or private club registration permittee.

Craaaap. But is the TABC doing the right thing? Are they protecting the consumers for the greater good of society? Will 1560 The Beer change life as we know it?

What would happen to the market if there was a (properly labeled) Walmart lager? A Steve Job's hard apple cider? A Houston Astros bitter?

Would everyone hop into the beer contracting business if the code was revised? Would the market for beer somehow grow based on labels alone or is the alcoholic beverage market relatively fixed (maybe more tied to the economy)? Would the consumers be so confused that they started buying beer instead of corn syrup sweetened iced tea? Would there be an explosion of underaged drinking?

Look, I get restrictions 1-5. I get portions of restrictions 6 and 7. I just don't get what the TABC is protecting by not allowing a 1560 The Beer.

Does InBev not produce beer in their mega-breweries and label it as if it came from a local brewery that doesn't exist? Seems like that bends restriction 6 just a bit.

Still not convinced that there is a problem with Texas' labeling code? In Texas, any beverage made from malted grains under 4% ABV can be called "beer." However, the same laws say that any malt beverage over 4% ABV is an "ale" or "malt liquor," no matter the style of beer. For the record, "Ale" and "Lager" actually refer to the type of yeast used and have nothing to do with the strength of the beverage.

Most likely your Oktoberfest (a lager) you pick up at Whip In in Austin or Specs in Houston has "Ale" somewhere on the label. Apparently the word "bock" is OK to describe 4+% ABV beers in Texas though. A quick google search about bocks revealed that Celis (formerly of Austin, TX) used to call their Pale Ale a Pale Bock for labeling reasons... nice one TABC. And I'm sure I'm not blowing the cover off anything here, Shiner Bock is not actually a bock beer.

Too many questions… not enough answers. It's enough to make me want to forgo the beer and hit the wine fridge tonight while I watch The University of Texas play LSU in the College World Series. I think I'll pop open that bottle of "Texas Fight" that I've been saving for a special occasion. Take that label-nazis!

Uh...... wait a minute!

Drinking and songs have long been tied together. But why?

Drinking songs basically come in two flavors: 1) Songs that specifically mention knocking back a few, and 2) Songs that you enjoy at your local watering hole's coin-operated music box. But how many of these songs are actually catalysts for a good time? Sure Hank III has a ton of songs with "Drunk" or "Whiskey" in the title, but most songs are fading out in roughly three and a half minutes. That's about the same amount of time the waitress has left my drink sitting after the bartender poured it.

I've never had a Gin 'n Juice while listening to Snoop. I gag when the entire bar starts singing "Friends in Low Places." "Margaritaville"!? Two words, Buffet: Banned List. "8 Ball"... here we go.

The real reason to go to a bar is for the drinking buddies (which went #4 overall in our anything mock draught). Most other reasons are probably just the warning signs that 12 step brochure was talking about. Would you really be that interested in the game if you were by yourself? I've done it while on the road for work, and it's depressing enough that I'm surprised I didn't scratch out a sappy drinking song myself.

But now since babysitting is an issue, my opportunities to go out without special occasion are few and far between. Most of the time I'm with my best drinking buddy TwoPints, and queuing up "Don't Stop Believing" on the iPod speaker doesn't really conjure up the urge to pop open that Brass Monkey, er, I mean Golden Monkey in the beer fridge... but watching the Soprano's surprisingly does. How I Met Your Mother, Top Chef, and Dallas (TwoPints has all the DVDs… I don't know who shot J.R.) surely make this list. Certain TV shows elicit an almost Pavlovian response in me when I hit play on the TiVo.

Drinking and songs are like wine and cheese. These traditional pairs have stood for so long that no one ever questions whether they are any good together. If you want to enjoy all three minutes and fifty-eight seconds of "Have a Drink on Me" by AC/DC and pass it off as "It's what we do," then more power to you. However, might I suggest you compare the experience to Eastbound and Down with a Southern Star Bombshell Blonde or Z Rock with a Brooklyn Local 1. Pair the latter combo with some mascarpone and you will be glad you stayed in for the evening.

Greg Koch described the origins of his love for food and beer pairings as gradual and hedonistic while introducing himself during the "Craft Beer and Cheese Taste Off!" educational salon. This approach represents both the incredible diversity in the American craft beers today and the impressive versatility of beer (and well, maybe Greg's laid back attitude about life). Time to take off those shackles wine drinkers, your local fine liquor store (or local craft brewery if you are lucky) offers a superior pair to your cheese first course, whatever you are having for dinner, and especially that chocolate dessert.

On Saturday May 30, 2009, around 1900 craft beer enthusiasts gathered to sample 136 beers from 68 American craft breweries paired with 32 food items during the 2^nd annual craft beer and food experience, SAVOR (but who was counting?). The event was held in Washington D. C. at the majestic National Building Museum. SAVOR, which sold out two months in advance, was a fancy affair with an impressively gender mixed crowd (possibly because the $95 ticket price and fine food and drink screamed "bring a date"). The museum's grand hall was very spacious and perfect for events of this type. Most guests were dressed to impress. I spotted everything from dresses and heels to many a collared shirt to some polyester suits and Chuck Taylors (ugh, what passes for "fashion" these days…).

In addition to the main event, SAVOR offered the opportunity to attend private tasting/educational salons. Three salon options were offered in three different time slots. The first, with a pre-event time slot, seemed like a no-brainer to get the festivities started and maximize the SAVOR experience. Two Pints and I attended Sam Calagione's "Ancient Ales in the Modern World," which consisted of Sam being Sam and free-styling (eloquently) about his efforts to appreciate the history of brewing and his general disapproval for the Reinheitsgebot (Sam's words were "screw the Reinheitsgebot"). The audience was served three cheeses and a chocolate paired with four beers while we enjoyed his ramblings. If the Chinese had Maytag Blue Cheese 9000 years ago, let me tell you, they would have enjoyed the pairing with their beer.

After the salon, we hit the main hall armed with our awesome commemorative glasses and my prepared Excel spreadsheet of must-have pairings. I had 49 targets, so the task at hand was arduous. An Allagash White with a passion fruit-mango mousse cup… check. An Anchor Steam Summer with a mini pulled pork BBQ sandwich… check. An Avery Brabant Barrel-Aged Wild Ale… ugh, 45 minutes had passed (where did the time go?) and it was time to get to our next salon: The Craft Beer and Cheese (and Chocolate) Pair Off.

The educational pair off salon challenged four panelists to each pick a beer that paired with both a piece of Maytag Blue Cheese AND a Chuao chocolate (with macadamia, praline, and chipotle). The selections by chance illustrated the diversity of the panel and the versatility of craft beer food pairings. Christian DeBenedetti, the soft spoken freelance food and beverage journalist from Oregon went with Allagash Black. It was a straightforward pairing that was an adequate match for both items, although I liked it better with the chocolate. Eric Wallace (President of Left Hand Brewing Company), the Air Force guy who came armed with plenty of notes and lists, stayed within the family and chose his Smokejumper Smoked Imperial Porter. Maybe it was my connection to his list making and preparation, but I voted for his selection. It brought out the best in both the items and joined the flavor party without overpowering the complexity of the chocolate or the blue in the cheese. Greg Koch (CEO and co-founder of Stone Brewing Company), armed with his sarcasm, chose his own Ruination IPA and lobbied the audience for his vote with live tweets and humor. But it was Lauren Buzzeo of Wine Enthusiast magazine who won over the crowd with the pairing of the blue cheese and chocolate with Deschutes The Dissident, a Flander's style sour brown ale aged in oak with wild cherries. While I don't totally disagree with the majority vote, I felt the beer overpowered both items just a little. On the positive side, each pairing took on a new flavor with the beer that was reminiscent of the Ratatouille fireworks sequence.

We exited the salon several minutes after the scheduled ending of 9:15PM. With last call at 10:50PM, it was time to refocus if we were to conquer my list. The Bruery Trade Winds Tripel and a scallop burger with cilantro lime mayo... check. Magic Hat Lucky Kat with a piece of Gruyere cheese... check. Russian River Pliny the Elder with… wait, what time is it? Seriously? And the Moroccan spiced lamb burgers are cold now!?

My list was a bit of a flop (we hit 26 of my 49 targets… that is a failing grade of 53%) but the event was far from a failure. We were impressed from the moment we walked in. As an entrance gift, we received a super cool commemorative tasting glass. At each of the tables, two ounce pours were usually generous. If I could add a little criticism, it would be that the brewery reps generally did not do much to promote the food pairing. But why would they? The food was not something they provided. The catering company also struggled a little to keep up with demand. Often the food was a little cold or overcooked. I also spotted servers filling water pitchers in the bathroom sinks.

Overall, much more was right about this event than wrong. Having spent a portion of my life in New Orleans and the majority of it on the Gulf Coast, I can honestly say the raw oysters served by The Choptank Oyster Company were the best I have ever had (for the record, I choose to pair it with a Deschutes Black Butte Porter). Items which were also unanimous favorites of Two Pints and myself (in no particular order):

- Southampton Publick House Double White Ale paired with Hibachi Style Grilled Pacific Salmon Skewers
- Lost Abbey Cuvee de Tomme (blended Barrel aged Sour Ale) paired with Black Forest (tart Montmorency cherries & kirsch)
- Arcadia Brewing Cocoa-Loco Triple Chocolate Milk Stout paired Southwester Black Bean Soup

Judging by the extraordinary lines and confirmed by our personal sampling, the crowd favorites were the oyster bar, Russian River, and Lost Abbey.

Judging by the discarded items on every other table, the crowd's least favorite, also confirmed by our personal sampling, was the Espresso Sambuca Parfaits. My personal note next to this pairing was simply: "OMG, Yuck!" The catering company should have to apologize to Flying Dog, Hoppy Brewing, Odell Brewing, Saint Louis Brewery, Ska Brewing, and Upland Brewing. Surely they did not get to sample this item before they chose the pairing for their beers.

While exiting, we were handed a small tin containing a USB drive loaded with recipes and guides to craft beer and food pairings. I couldn't help but wish the event had been longer or potentially more than one session. One of our salons ate up an hour of our time, but I have no regrets about attending the pair off session. In fact, while I regret not getting into one of the intimate (~10 people) private tasting salons (which must have sold and within the first hour they were on sale), I don't know which salon I would want to swap out. Sam Calagione casually sharing his philosophy of beer making (including a story of an early comment card for Immort Ale: "it tastes like trees, but it got me f*#%ed up") or the cheese/chocolate pairing panel (which included beers as diverse as the panelists' personalities). In only it's 2^nd year of existence, the Brewers Association has added another great annual event to their calendar. As someone who has been twice to GABF, I believe the classy and more intimate setting of SAVOR may be my annual beer event of choice.

The final chapter.

For those new to TheFerm blog, Part 1 and Part 2 will set the stage for the dramatic conclusion of my investigation into beer pricing at Minute Maid Park.

First, there has been a re-re investigation into the size of the pregame special at Larry's Big Bamboo. Larry's felt obliged to call shenanigans on MY shenanigans and reiterate that the pregame beer is 14 oz., not 12 oz. as TheFerm implied (happy hour board at right). I accepted this declaration and re-investigated. The fairest way to re-measure the volume, was to open a brand new St. Arnold Texas Wheat, and re-pour it into the cup. The result here proved that the pregame special cup is greater than 12 oz. Now with head and a sloppy pour, 12 oz. might be the expectation. But I cannot say it is a 12 oz. pour. It looks like 13-14 oz. and I'll take their word and declare it 14 oz. I hereby have to accept my broom flogging.



As the latest intricate research was concluded, the cup was washed out and put in a drying rack (in case further testing was needed). It was noted that the cup comes labeled as 14 oz. on the bottom. I declare it 14 oz. This has to be the same cup as the $5 regular small draft from concession stands throughout.

Other cups were then scoured for measurement, the St. Arnold (lower level) cup clearly declares itself 473 ml. Now that's only 16 oz! But is that 16 oz. with a head, or a flat 16 oz.? Back to the drawing board! Clarity is gained when a distinct 45 cl line (centiliters...really) is found on the side, with at least a cm to go above (or course the widest part of the cup). It is my belief that the 16 oz. is conservative, that is, a few oz. of head is anticipated, and with a good pour it can be exceeded. I will split the difference in the CPMMO analysis, I think the average pour here is 18 oz with a bit of head.

The rest of the third Minute Maid sortie was info gathering. A 16 oz. bottle from the beer guy costs $7.50 as has been previously remembered. For the $10 premium, 24 oz. options, they include Heineken, Corona, Shiner, and XX. The Latin Cafe (behind home plate) as the unique options of Negra Modelo and Modelo Especial. For $8, a 23 oz. pour, like the other good drafts. Lefty's was the only place (besides Larry's Big Bamboo) that a Shiner draft was found, presumably the $8/23oz. kind. Blue Moon is also at Lefty's and Larry's, not available for the pregame special, but presumed for $8. Confirmed, there is still a $6.75 for a 12 oz. St. Arnold Amber pour at Larry's Little Bamboo upstairs. I asked the vendor how much, and he quickly told me that you get a bigger draft about 10 steps to his right at the upper level premium stand. And the St. Arnold draft is still 23 oz. up there, and still only $8. Sirron got jobbed, although I note the extra ounces for the $2 vs. downstairs makes it the second best St. Arnold deal.

So the final CPMMO for 2009 is as follows:
Italics = No longer available
Bold = J.R. Ewing Recommends

27 CPMMO: Ziegenbock/Bud/Miller at Larry's Big Bamboo - 14 oz. pregame only
32 CPMMO: Bud/Miller/Ziegenbock 23 oz. draft (all levels)
35 CPMMO: St. Arnold in 23 oz. cup
35 CPMMO: Sam/ShockorDropTop/Landshark/Shiner/BlueMoon/Modelos 23 oz. draft (all levels)
36 CPMMO: Bud/Miller/Ziegenbock - 14 oz. "small" draft
38 CPMMO: Bud/Miller 24 oz. cans
42 CPMMO: Heineken/Corona/Shiner/XX in 24 oz. cans
42 CPMMO: 2005 World Series Mug* 24 oz. (Bud/Miller draft)
43 CPMMO: St. Arnold in 23 oz. cup (Opening Day "SirRon special")
44 CPMMO: St. Arnold in 18 oz cup (lower levels)
47 CPMMO: Bud/Miller/Coors 16 oz. plastic bottles
56 CPMMO:: St. Arnold in 12 oz. bottle poured into cup at Little Larry's

We'll do the whole thing again next year, I don't think we ever go by a year when Uncle Drayton doesn't raise everything by .25 - $1.

Update Opening Day 2010 (4/5/10): Good news folks! It appears that beer prices have stayed the same in 2010 as reported here for 2009.

This countdown was prepared last week, but I didn't want to interrupt the elegant repetition that was the American Craft Beer Week posts... then I got lazy.

Speaking of repetition… how about the preface.

Countdown is a list of news items, videos, or just ruminations that involve imbibing or are just more entertaining with an adult beverage. After all, life is life, but talking about it with a drink makes it more interesting. Feel free to sound off on any of the topics in the comment section.

5) *Knock Knock* Candygram! Wait. I-I'm Only a Dolphin, Ma'am

A dolphin? Well...okay.

Nope, LANDSHARK!

The Miami Dolphin's just landed themselves on The Ferm's banned list after inking a deal with Jimmy Buffett for the naming rights to Dolphin Stadium. Those of us at The Ferm don't have anything against Margaritas (well, TwoPints has a self-inflicted aversion), but Anheuser-Busch InBev products are to be avoided whenever possible. Buffett, who in some way just licenses the A-B brewed LandShark Lager since I'm sure there is no brewery in Margaritaville, will work for free to pay off the licensing deal.

I guess I need to toss my Ricky Williams jersey.

4) Meat + Beer + Money ~ Daughter?

Mr. Marcelino de Jesus Martinez will soon be wasting away somewhere other than Margaritaville.

His plan seemed sound on paper. He had a daughter... he likes beer, meat, and money... he found a buyer. Bingo, Bango, it's a deal!

Ahh, but even the best laid plans of mice and men can often go awry. Mr. Martinez had (clearly) no choice but to call the cops when his buyer failed to cough the cash... a week after the transaction went down! I mean seriously, what does Marcelino look like sir, a bank?

Having a daughter myself, I'm appalled by this story. While I too like meat and beer, I prescribe to the Chinese proverb:

Give away your daughter for meat and beer, you eat and drink for a day.
Teach your daughter to get groceries and homebrew, you eat and drink for a lifetime.

3) The Free Beer Platform

We are down with free beer here at The Ferm. That is why we are throwing all our resources behind Kim Schroeder's campaign for the Vice President of the Milwaukee Teachers' Education Association. Kim has made "free beer" part of his platform. Genius. Good luck dude!

2) Do I Detect Some Urea in This Wine?

What's does it take to craft a world famous, top selling sauvignon blanc? Cutting edge agriculture, precise fermentation techniques, and a winning combination of sweet and sweaty passion fruit, asparagus, and cat's pee flavors. New Zealand scientists spent six years and whatever $12m converts to American dollars to isolate the defining flavors that make the sauvignon blanc wines of the Wairarapa region so special... and also proving wine reviews are mostly garbage.

1) Wait, Not Beer Reviews As Well!

Calm down wine snobs, there is a whole subculture of beer snobs that have adopted your smarmy pseudo-connoisseur attitudes. It is probably a website publishing no-no to direct readers away from your site, but Bill at the blog "It's Pub Night" has put together a great Beer Review Generator that satirizes how pretentious beer reviews have gotten (click on over to Beer Advocate for some examples).

But admittedly, the review generator can be tormenting to even the casual beer writer as well. I no doubt had it in mind throughout my 7 day reviews during American Craft Beer Week. And while I was going to tweet soon about how awesome Undercover Investigation Shut-Down Ale (it is dee-lish y'all), instead I will provide an auto-review:

Pours a vivid orange with a nine-inch head. Sexy lacing. Beautiful spicy aroma, and I also get some sour milk and strawberry. Amazing catty taste, with overtones of bubblegum and forward alcohol. Elegant mouthfeel and long finish. Score: 4.40/5.

Brilliant.

Our final selection of American Craft Beer Week 2009 was not without debate. Ultimately, the Day 7 selection became an obvious one: Homebrew. The spirit of homebrewing lives in almost every craft beer brewer. Even Jim Koch of the industry's largest craft brewery, Boston Beer Company (Samuel Adams), brewed the first batch of Samuel Adams Boston Lager in his kitchen.

Brewing beer is a delightful combination of ingredient experimentation, research, chemistry, hard work, and cooking (and cleaning... ugh). Each batch is cooled and stored for a week to a month (or more) while fermentation occurs. By the time the finished beer has reached a bottle or keg, it represents the painstaking, but rewarding, job the brewer carried out (keeping precise temperature control, sanitizing equipment, etc.) all while throwing a few back during the process.

Want to get started homebrewing? John Palmer's online book is a great place to start. You will also want to Google my 1st round draft pick in The Ferm's Anything Mock Draft, Charlie Papazian. He is the godfather of homebrew and craft beers. He also authored what is considered "The Guide" for homebrewing, The Complete Joy of Homebrewing.

Seven days of celebrating American craft beers and still not pumped? Check out the video below. This was shown during keynote speech by Greg Koch of Stone Brewing Co. at the 2009 Craft Brewers Conference. It is sure to get the juices flowing.

Day 7
May 17, 2009
Champagne Brut De Pimps (homebrew)
2008

Website/Bottle Information:

This Belgian inspired ale was brewed by the Groom and Best Man for your enjoyment. Bottled in the Methode Champenoise, this highly carbonated lightly spiced pale brut should be celebrated with your friends and family. Prost!

OG 1.087
10.2% ABV
Bottle: 750mL









He Said:
I won't go into a lot of details about the champagne beer that K-Dub and I brewed for his wedding, since most of you can't try it for yourselves. However, let me say this sweet and light amber colored beer is one of the best I've reviewed this week. The beer is complex in flavor and as pleasing cold as it is warm, although not quite as tasty as the Day 5 Golden Monkey at room temperature.

Typical of a homebrew, the entire process did not go off without a hitch. Half of the bottles made did not get primed (for non-homebrewers, a sugar solution is added at bottling which is fermented by the residual yeast causing the beer to carbonate after bottling). I volunteered to sample a few bottles from each case made to check for carbonation problems, but never found any... quite a rewarding quality control job I might add.

The final product is fantastic, but the beer was fun to make as well. I won't bore the casual reader with the details, but if you are interested, be sure to check out the recipe. The Maltose Falcons also published a great writeup covering the process for the Methode Champenoise and a picture narration of them making the beer.

She Said:
This lovingly crafted homebrew is a medium golden color, a little hazy at first pour due to the yum-yums at the bottom of this beauty. Once the fog settles it looks crisp and clear. It doesn't taste hoppy, in fact it's just this side of Belgium-y. It leaves your pallet with a clean finish. In fact the warmer it gets, the Belgium flavors begin to explode (did I mention before that I love Belgians?) This beer is for me. There is great carbonation to this bottle aged brew.

The Champagne Brut De Pimps is not one you can go out and buy, so you'll just have to take my word for it. It's DELICIOUS!! For such a fine tasting beer one doesn't even realize it's stabbing you in the back with its high alcohol content (well, at least not until it's too late... see Mr. Smokey Pants for details). I mean seriously, double digits on this one at 10.2%!! Highly recommend... two pints up to this one. I'm just sorry we can't share it with the world. Two pints up to K-Dub and SirRon for brewing up this baby. You two make beautiful beers together. Now I'm going to go back to enjoying this prized and LIMITED possession.

If there is one thing that resonated from the online crapstorm after Beer Wars from craft beer enthusiasts, it was that, while the three-tier system does not help the small guy, craft breweries are thriving. The fact is the market share of domestic bland lagers and imports (some “fancy”, some not) are on the decline. So despite the efforts of gangster distributors and the Augustus Busch linage (nothing but a gangster party), most Americans have enough access to craft beer to at least know the difference between good and bad beer if they choose to make the distinction (most wine drinkers still drink Beringer White Z and Yellow Tail too).

This is Day 6 of the weeklong celebration of American craft beers. Tonight TwoPints and I intended to review Cisco Brewers’ The Grey Lady, a Belgian-style Wit beer. The beer is new to Houston shelves and we have visited the Nantucket, MA brewery a few times. But The Grey Lady, it was just OK. It tasted like about 7 or 8 other Wits I could have picked up off the shelf. In a market that still shuts out large portions of the craft beer world, this is an interesting realization. The craft beer market has grown so much over the past 10 years that the bar is continually raising for great beers. Cool.

Day 6
May 16, 2009
Sierra Nevada Southern Hemisphere Harvest Fresh Hop Ale
2009

Website/Bottle Information:

Our newest addition to our Harvest family is Southern Hemisphere Harvest. This is the first time we know of that an American brewer has put out a beer with fresh-picked hops from the southern hemisphere. The inaugural ale will debut in late April and will feature fresh Pacific Hallertau, New Zealand Motueka and New Zealand Southern Cross hops, all from New Zealand.

Like our Celebration Ale, the fresh hops in this beer are dried right after being picked then shipped immediately to Chico for brewing so that they retain their peak aromatics and flavors. To ensure the freshest hops possible, we went to the added expense of flying these hops from New Zealand to Chico so we could brew with them the week after they were picked.

6.7% by volume
Bottle: 24oz
OG 14.7 Plato
FG 3.9 Plato
Bittering Hops: Pacific Halertau
Finishing Hops: New Zealand Motueka & New Zealand Southern Cross
66 IBUs

He Said:
The beer has very little aroma… slightly hoppy, but not powerful at all. Harvest Ale tastes better than the nose. The hop flavors don’t kick you in the butt, and the prevailing flavor is almost more malty than hoppy. I wonder if the atypical pale ale flavors could be due to the New Zealand hops that are used.

I remember the previous Harvest Ale from Sierra Nevada being better. It featured Cascade and Centennial hops from the Yakima Valley in Eastern Washington. This beer was probably more fun making that it could ever be drinking.

She Said:
This one is amber in color, bubbly, and hoppy. I enjoy the hoppy scent it gives off, and of course the hoppy flavor. Southern Hemisphere Harvest is just okay for me. If it's not to expensive, and SirRon tells me it isn't, then I'd recommend picking one up, BUT not saving it for a special occasion. To quote my in-laws, this is a "Tuesday" beer. That's all I got.

Tonight TwoPints and I watched the final two episodes of Celebrity Apprentice off the TiVo. Two episodes... Five hours! I guess Trump fired the editor during this season too. It was five hours of "celebrity" snobbery and some fairly compelling drama... well except I already know who wins. I knew the morning after the episode aired. E! Online and People.com spilled the proverbial beans on their website mere hours after the winner was decided.

This is not a gripe against media printing spoilers in the DVR age. I've heard those complaints, and I don't think they hold much water. My gripe is a practical one. Why do "news" organizations write titles with enough information in them where you don't have to read the actual article? Instead of "Trump picks Joan Rivers as the next Celebrity Apprentice" (sorry, now you know too), how about "Trump picks the next Celebrity Apprentice." What is the difference? In the RSS age it is the difference between me visiting your site or not. I can't remember the last time I visited E! Online... I just read their RSS feed titles on my iGoogle page and I'm good. I'm pretty sure that isn't what their advertisers want to hear.

Notice how I didn't put "Victory Golden Monkey: Awesome... go out and buy a 750mL bottle right now!" as my post title. Just saying.

(Note to TwoPints: if you read the intro instead of skipping it, you'll notice the tie-in to the Day 5 selection right there at the end :))

Day 5
May 15, 2009
Victory Golden Monkey
Bottled May 12, 2006

Website/Bottle Information:

ABOUT
Strong and sensual, this golden, Belgian-style ale glows with goodness. The richness of German malts and Belgian yeast are tempered by a sparkling approach and overall light body. Considerable depth of character with abundant herbal, fruity notes make this one to savor.

FROM THE BREWMASTERS
A magical, mystical Monkey whose golden soul glows with the wisdom of ages. This radiant, flavored ale is rich in the spirited tradition of Belgian-inspired brewing. Our Golden Monkey is both playfully delightful and profoundly satisfying. Exotic spices from the East round out this global journey to joy. Get on board. This Monkey's bound for glory!

COMPOSITION
Malts: 2 row German malt
Hops: European whole flowers
Yeast: imported, of Belgian origin
Alcohol by volume: 9.5%
Bottle: 750mL

He Said:
I have visited Victory Brewing Company in Downington, PA many times while I was working on a project for West Chester University. It's a full scale brewery, restaurant, and bar (and you can purchase take home beer... sweet!). It is not really a comfortable friendly bar where everyone knows your name, but they make fantastic beers, so the get a free pass on the snobbery... It could be a Texan bias.

Let me start by saying Golden Monkey is on my short list of favorite beers. The 750mL version is bottle conditioned, making it suitable for cellaring. This one, picked up from the brewery, lasted three years in my kegerator, which is probably a personal record for a Monkey. The beer pours with a thin white foamy head that disseappers within a minute. Typical of many Belgian style beers, the carbonation is lively. The nose was very nice... "Belgian-y" for those who just like beer... coriander, herb, and slightly fruity for beer snobs.

For a 9.5% ABV, this beer is amazingly drinkable, particularly when cold. An hour elapsed between first sip and last (a function of enjoying the beer and having to put the kids to bed). As expected, the beer is much better (more complex) warm. I typically enjoy craft beers a little colder than the suggested temperature, but in this case preferred the flavors after 45 minutes to the earlier ones. Age seems to have mellowed some of the powerful Belgian Tripel flavors, however, age probably has added to the overall complexity of the beer. I would also like to add this version seemed very different from the 12oz bottle version. I wish I had one in the fridge tonight, but if memory serves me right, it is sweeter and has less depth... both most likely attributed to the difference in aging.

Being that this three year old Monkey was on my virtual display shelf in the kegerator, my expectations were high. Maybe too high. I loved the beer, but I remember the four year old Monkey I opened several years ago being one of the best cellared beers I've ever opened. This one didn't live up to that memory.

She Said:
Ooh ooh aah aah! It's Monkey time! Golden is the perfect adjective for the color of this beer. After three years it still has wonderful carbonation. The taste is crisp. To me this screams "Belgium!" and also "Drink Me!" (okay so I've been watching Alice in Wonderland with my little Half Pint... but I digress). Golden Monkey is probably THE one American Belgian style beer that has turned me into the happy Belgio-American beer drinking person I am.

After letting the beer rest and warm up a bit, all the complicated flavors that make up a Belgian style beer begin to come out. While taking several sips, what strikes me is that your palate is left with very little after taste. In other words if you don't grab the tastes while the brew is in your mouth you might miss them. It is not just the spices that grab you with this beer, it's more of the very tasty yeast and malty flavors. The Belgian Tripel sweetness comes out as the beer warms up. Very delicious and worth the extra $$. Two pints up to Victory for its superb Golden Monkey.

I made the pilgrimage to Denver, CO for the Great American Beer Festival in 2005 in 2007. The first time was a bro weekend trip with K-Dub and Mr. Smokey Pants. The 2nd, K-Dub and I brought our ladies and Mr. Smokey Pants bowed out. Below is a comparison of the experiences.

2005: K-Dub and Mr. Smokey Pants alternated turning in early at night.
2007: The ladies turned in early at night.

2005: Stranahan's... great! Wynkoop... don't believe the hype.
2007: Stranahan's... still great! Wynkoop... still terrible.

2005: Set the high score on ESPN Zone's football throwing skills game with K-Dub.
2007: Broke our previous high score on ESPN Zone's football throwing skills game with K-Dub.

2005: Drank before the GABF sessions... between the GABF sessions... and after the GABF sessions.
2007: Limited the pre-lubing to only a few beers but still closed down the town in the evenings.

2005: Attended the Friday session. If frat parties got together once a year and had a frat party convention, it would be similar to the atmosphere on the Friday evening GABF session.
2007: Took a break from GABF on Friday and visited area breweries. I'll never attend another Friday GABF session again.

Day 4
May 14, 2009
New Belgium La Folie
Hand Bottled #9/2-8977 (2007)

Website/Bottle Information:
La Folie Wood-Aged Biere, is our original wood-conditioned beer, resting in French Oak barrels between one and three years before being hand bottled, numbered and corked for your enjoyment. Brewmaster, Peter Bouckaert, came to us from Rodenbach – home of the fabled sour red. Our La Folie emulates the spontaneous fermentation beers of Peter’s beloved Flanders with sour apple notes, a dry effervescence, and earthy undertones.

When you uncork La Folie, it is best to let it breathe before drinking. This will not only improve the bouquet but also increase the beer's temperature providing a more complex taste and body.

Bottle: 750mL
ABV: 6.0

He Said:
I picked this bottle up while visiting the brewery in 2007. The bottle sat in the kegerator mainly because it was expensive (I think I must have bought this for at least $18 or so) and it's different. When is the right moment to serve a sour brown that you cannot easily replace? I guess American Craft Beer Week.

This puppy is sour. I mean like real sour. The kind of sour that will stay in your mouth for quite a while after the sip. Beer snobs... Don't hate... but I ate a piece of peppered turkey jerky before starting this post and the sour flavor is still in my mouth. The internet tells me the "La Folie" means "crazy" or "insane" in French. Crazy sour.

The bottle says to let this beer breathe a little, which to me meant try it right away… how else will I be able to appreciate the differences? It was cold, sour, and heavily carbonated minutes after the pour. The head disappeared immediately. As it warmed, the flavor improved. In fact, I saved the last sip for a while and the flat, room temperature sip was enjoyable.

The beer is balanced, but not terribly complex. For a beer that gets such attention from the brewery (aged in oak barrels for 1-3 years and hand bottled), I guess I expect a little more. I do not mean to be overly negative (I wish I had another in the fridge), but this is an above average beer that does not live up to the hype.

She Said:

Brown, dark brown, with a tinge of red on the edges. I am already a little concerned, but it's a Belgium style "sour brown" I like sour, I like Belgium, not so much brown.

Wow, now that's sour! It bites the heck out of your mouth when you take a sip. In fact, caution not to take too big a sip like I did, it actually made my lips pucker and my eyes water. Very carbonated, even though it doesn't look bubbly. Boy is it tart. I don't think I'll be able to finish an entire snifter of this one. It is definitely for sitting around and taking your time. This is not a beer you'd drink quickly, often, or at all during the summer. It feels wintery to me, like on a cold day sit, sip, and get warm kind of beer. The more I drink it the more I like it. It's a nice beer, but definitely for a special occasion. If you like sour things this is for you. The back of my 'buds are still screaming from the last sip I took. I'd give it a pint up for its uniqueness. For sure give it a go, if you don't, how could you hold your head up and call yourself a craft beer connoisseur!